16 inspiring lessons I learned from difficult life transitions

Finding joy and blessings even when life hits you hard

Behind the clouds, the sun is always shining

1. When an issue appears, instead of looking at it through negative lens, ask yourself, what is the silver lining in this situation? What is the benefit behind it?

You may not see it now, but there is always one. For example, losing a job could mean finding a new and more fulfilling career. Losing a friend because they were not supportive to you means that you are ready to attract new people who will now value your uniqueness.

In my life, I had many situations where I was forced to find this silver lining. When I had to let go of toxic people and I was left alone, I found the highest form of support in God. When I got sick and doctors/therapists couldn’t help me, I had to learn to trust my body’s intuition to guide me through and I discovered that my sensory processing disorder is actually an amazing gift that enriches my life. When I had a major heartbreak, my heart opened so much, in such painful ways, that I became psychic and I started to offer reading sessions and counseling to people.

The key here is to not panic, to stay with the pain, allow it to move through you, swim with it and not try to fight it because the issue it is here for a reason, to help you grow.

Rock bottom can become a solid foundation on which you rebuild your life.

2. In times of stress and chaos, always remember that you are not the one who decides the outcome and has the ultimate power. God is. Life is. Your body. Your intuition.

Do not use your mind (ego) to control what is happening to you because sometimes you cannot, no matter what you do. Surrender and be in service of what tries to move through you, instead of being in conflict with it.

Knowing that you are not in full control of your life actually helps you relax and trust the process.

3. If you find yourself becoming angry and resentful because you are challenged by life, remind yourself that from a spiritual perspective you actually chose this path and you agreed with it. Your ego/mind may not like it, but your soul will be very proud of you if you try to do your best with what you’ve got.

Every single time I see things through my spiritual visions perspective or through the eyes of the loving God, the answer is always the same. I agreed on some level to come into this life to be on this path, in order to grow. I am free to say NO to it but when I embrace it, I can see the beauty in it just as the divine intended for me.

4. While being challenged, instead of becoming angry or depressed because you do not have what you want, think of the most important things that you still have in your life and you are able to do, like being able to see colors, to walk on your own two feet, to work with your hands, to have a good friend or a pet that melts your heart, to eat a good savoring meal. Focus on the simple things in life that are actually most important because they create your moment to moment living now. Make the best of it with what you have.

This will take away your attention from the negative side of the story shifting it into what actually works for you now.

5. When challenges arrive, patience is not a virtue, it is a surviving skill

Learn to be Zen about everything because in the biggest scheme of life, your problem is actually less significant. It is like watching things from the sky above. You can’t focus on details anymore and only the major lines and landscapes count.

Start realizing that doing things slowly, in the right timing and at your own pace, is more effective than rushing and pushing through, which could leave you exhausted and wondering why you are not good enough to accomplish your dreams.

Instead, practice this mantra: everything happens in its own divine time. It will happen when it will happen. And in the meantime, I choose to relax and live my life as best as I can.

6. Learn to see challenges as teachers

Each problem you face today will make you stronger tomorrow.

For example, after my heart opened wide, I became so loving, nurturing, so naive and forgiving, that I actually allowed others to abuse my kindness. The betrayals in my close relationships taught me to set very strong boundaries and respect myself exactly because I was pushed to my edge.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.

It is about learning to dance in the rain.” - Unknown

7. Learn to cope and adapt to the changes instead of worrying about the discomfort that comes with them

The thing is, only if you accept what is truly happening you can take time to reflect, decide and pivot your course in life so that you move on in the right direction.

Crying about it, being sad or angry it’s ok, but while you’re doing that make also space for choosing something different. Ask yourself questions like: what would help me move forward with ease from this point on? What do I need to let go of because it drains me and is not serving me anymore?

8. Always listen to your body, especially when you are facing challenges

Do not try to force your wishes upon her. Do not push her to move at a pace you want, doing the things you want. She is the one who decides the rhythm, not you.

In the end, your vision may most certainly come from your mind (ego) through what you learned from others and it may be in conflict with your body’s dreams for you. Instead, choose to listen and embrace what comes up. And if you don’t like it, as it happened in my case, aim to find the beauty in it, study it, find its benefit for you.

Ask yourself: what does my body need from me to feel safe, healed and nourished? Then do that as best as you can.

Because her dreams are bigger, more important and way more beautiful than your ego’s desires.

9. Prepare to become a reluctant expert in things you never expected

For example, I never wanted to learn how to heal myself, how to be still, how to be meditative or present to my pain. But I was forced into all these things by life circumstances and by the fact that I have spent lots of money on useless therapists. So I had to find a solution by myself. And because of these struggles, I developed my own counseling and healing ways, becoming an expert in sensory awareness and other unconventional tools that allowed me to help others.

Another example: I never wanted to be alone, in fact, I was terrified of loneliness. I was a social butterfly. When I lost all my so called friends and I had to cut off several members of my family, I suddenly was left all by myself. The terror of being in my own company dissipated when I found God and I started to feel the divine unconditional love that is actually impossible to find in humans. I am stronger today because I welcomed solitude as my path and I became an expert in self love exactly because I had the courage to let go of toxic people.

Allow yourself to become the teacher in your own field of expertise. It is through challenges that you grow and truly learn.

In Kintsugi Japanese tradition, broken objects are often repaired by filling the gaps with gold. The flaws become the beautiful evidence that something unique happened in that object’s history. What happened to you that made you uniquely beautiful?

10. You will get to know yourself really well through challenges

Each problem in life will force you to change in ways you never did before. Because of that, you need to transform the way you think, speak, move and feel. Your whole identity may need to shift. You may learn (like it happened to me), that who you think you were, it’s actually not the real you.

By facing your challenges with patience, acceptance, care for your soul and self love, you will start to know your true needs and what supports you well in life. This will teach you what boundaries to set in place and what truly feeds your heart.

When you know yourself, you know how to take good care of your inner child.

All of the sudden, you will not take anymore insults, disrespect or low vibrations. You want what is rightfully yours, because you deserve it. You’ve been through chaos and hell, and now you are ready to fully love yourself.

11. Learning to focus on little comforts, especially when life hits you hard

When something is really stressful, when everything feels like chaos or a constant battle, destruction and loss may seem to cloud your days and make them dark. It is exactly at these times that what you need the most is the opposite to help you receive pleasure in the middle of the pain.

A simple, clean and beautiful bed spread that awaits you in the evening, a delicious meal eaten while watching the sunset, a beautiful flowers bouquet on your desk, sipping aromatic tea in a gorgeous vintage cup, wrapping yourself in sensuous perfume scent, wearing makeup or a cute hairstyle - will brighten up your day no matter what, and they cost nothing.

Make the things that you interact with the most during your day, truly pleasurable. This will have a great positive impact on your life, even when you are moving through difficult times.

You need to nourish your soul first, if you wish to have enough energy to live through the dark days. Only when you have enough fuel for yourself, you can give enough attention to your goals and to others. You cannot achieve success through depletion, you need to feel well fed. So feed yourself first without guilt.

12. Always celebrate even the smallest victories because they are the foundation of your forward movement

You might be waiting for an enormous project to be finished first in order for you to have something to celebrate. This is what I used to think about my desired healing. When I realized that this process might take a lifetime or maybe it will never end in the way I would like it to end, I finally understood that my every day life is part of this process and I need to make it count because THIS IS MY LIFE NOW.

Did I want to let my life just move through me and not enjoy it? To only wait for the big win that may or may not happen, in order to finally celebrate a victory?

No. The answer is, I can celebrate every small victory now. If I can walk 10-15 k steps now daily in comparison with last year, it is a big achievement and I am going to be happy about it and give myself a treat. If today I can release emotions rapidly when few years ago I was in deep depression, I am surely going to be proud about it and allow myself to grow self confidence.

Every little step forward towards my dream counts. Every time I find a win, I am deeply grateful and I make sure to add it to my list of achievements. In this way, when I look back I always feel that I’m growing even though it may be a slow process.

13. Finding what feeds your soul

When everything is in turmoil around you (or inside), focusing on what you love and helps you lose track of time will take you out of the negative zone.

Do you love painting? Then find time to paint in the middle of a life crisis.

Do you love hiking or traveling? Then make sure you allow a budget for this and start planning your trips because this is where you will find your aliveness again and again.

Do not postpone living your best life for later, just because things feel hard now. Sometimes these challenges are here to teach us to put our soul desires first and pursue them no matter what. The end result of each pursuing is the fuel we receive in return. We need this to feed the life force engine that keeps us going through the dire straits.

“There is no need on looking for the light when you can bring it with you” = Tyler Knott Gregson

14. When something bad happens, is usually because there is a spiritual need for change but we were not ready for it yet

Almost every single thing that happened and I didn’t like it, because it was either a mistake, a health issue, an accident or a betrayal, forced me to look deeper into my soul and face my own contribution to it, acknowledging responsibility, teaching me lessons about self worth or self love, about how to never ignore my intuition again or how to discover my true self in a way I never thought possible.

Nothing happens just because. There is a mystical order in this universe and everything happens for a reason, or for a higher purpose, or to mirror our dark areas so that we can accept them fully.

Therefore, nothing is wasted and nothing was wrong. We may think it is, but it’s not, because everything works for our highest good, to help us grow. Some of us learn this through hardships, some learn in easier ways. But no matter what, problems, issues, mishaps, are all there for us to teach us to transform pain into something beautiful.

15. The journey is actually the destination

The process of living your daily life should be a most enjoyable one no matter what you are facing, so that at the end of your life, no matter the result, you will still have many wonderful stories to tell.

Sometimes, happiness is found in the least expected places and this was my case. I never thought that I could find joy in contemplating nature, painting colors, moving my body with sensory awareness or talking to god. But here I am, and I would not trade these blissful moments for anything else I felt in the past, because I now realize those were empty moments of high joy.

Ask yourself: what would make this journey more pleasurable? Then do that.

16. Abundance and success have different meanings when you’re going through major life transitions and this pushes you to find what truly matters

When you face big drama in your life, abundance may mean health, or simple joys in life. Success may mean that today I had the tiniest victory in my situation and I am going to celebrate it to the max.

Everything changes context when you are facing major issues. Suddenly, the things that mattered the most to you have no meaning now. The car you paid thousands of dollars for, means nothing if you cannot drive it because you are in pain. The fur coat you were so proud of, is useless when you have nowhere to go. The friends you thought you can rely on, make your heart feel empty now because they cannot support you as you supported them. The partner you put your trust in, cheated on you and the relationship lost its meaning completely.

This is life, and the only constant in life is change. Things change, problems happen. And you can choose how to respond to what is happening to you and the meaning you give to things.

The partner that cheated on you? It’s a good thing that this happened because it helped you know your self worth and perhaps find someone who truly supports you. That person never deserved your love. The friends you thought you had but you actually never did? It’s great that they disappeared because you deserve people who support you just as much as you support them.

Abundance is everywhere, can be found in anything and success is to be defined as you want to. You are in charge of your life and what it means for you. You decide what or who deserves your attention and contributes to your soul the most.

I hope these musings served you as much as they served me when going through hard times.

Also, check my RESOURCES page for the book recommendations list I created to help you navigate difficult times, while healing and growing.

And if you didn’t subscribe to my newsletter yet, when you do that you will receive two beautiful free guides in pdf format. “How to manifest your desired feeling at a sensory level” and “How to access your intuition”.

Source of photos - Pinterest